My Life

I'm destined for something in my life
as long as i follow my heart
but the way my life has been going
i feel like that road will never begin
i've been through alot in my life
i lost my best friend
i lost my aunt
the pain i've felt has long simmered
but a flame still flickers
no matter how i try
it never seems to die
i'm tired of always trying what i can
and in the end i just lose
there's drama with my family
i always make mistakes
even when i'm supposed to
i don't let anyone in
eventually the wall breaks
unwillingly they let themselves in
i try not to get attached
because as soon as i learn to love
i have to give it back
i've cut over the dumbest things
i've cried over what wasted my tears
i thought at that moment i wouldn't live
now looking back i realize i wasted every ounce of energy over something that went away
when the friendship with my best friend ended i thought that was the end of everything i ever wanted
i was wrong
i took the pain out on myself
i thought about ending it all
until one unexpected day
someone i've never talked too
wrote on my Facebook wall
i didn't know at that moment
he was the one that was going to change my life
though i still have my depressed days
he always makes it right
even with my life savor
i often think of the past
the things i can't change still haunt me
i still cry over the loss of my aunt
not one second i don't think about her
even he can't cheer me up
no smile can cross my face
the memories of her i still have
will never go away
i'm 16 now
through that short amount of time
i've been through so much
things a 16 year old shouldn't have to go through
things i believed would never happen to me
i've been through the roughest spots of my life
i soared easily over the barrier caging me in
when i finally smile and get free
i'm caged in again
it's way to easy to make me cry
over the death of a pet
or the swat of a fly
my heart has had a beating
it can't take much more
sometimes at the end of the day
i'll forget what breathing is for
my anger gets me in trouble
my easily broken heart, gets taken advantage of
because of certain people i've learned to trust only myselsf
i've been in a tough spot with a boy
he almost had his way
he broke my trust in boys
the scars wont' leave
though my life has been rough for me
and i often traveled it alone
there's always one person i know that will be there to accompany me home
i got her and she's all i need
my best friend and my life
i don't have to worry
i know i'll be alright
teased, assualted, and lied to
stabbed in the back
it takes a long time for me to heal
my hearts always been like that
i know though we all have problems
but mine is too unfair
but i know with the family i got
there's always hope out there
i've been gaining my strength
my trust is slowly coming back
my heart's patching up
i hope it can stay like that

I Learned(:

I learned to trust what became lies



i learned to love all the wrong guys


i learned to follow the crowd


i learned not to think outloud


i learned to change to please others


i learned to say what they wanted to hear


i learned to be what i wasn't


i learned to have every fear


i learned that mistakes are normal


i learned regrets will follow me


i learned everything i possibly could


except to just be me

Mom(:

i appericate everything you do for me



though i don't acknowledge it at all


you're what keeps this family together


without you everything would fall apart


we may not get along at times


but i still love you alot


i may not say if often but you should know that


i may not show it often but you should feel it


you're the strength of this family


you're our heart and soul


and it would kill me


if you ever decided to go






I love you<3

Try(:

try to break the unbreakable



try to bend the unbendable


try to speak words unsaid


try to do what no ones did


try to stand outside the crowd


try to speak your actions outloud


try to be different


try to live a little crazy


try to climb over whats keeping you in


try to try what you failed again


try to do whatever you want


because if you want to succeed


just try


cuz if you dont


you get nowhere in life